44% of the audience of Guardians of the Galaxy is female and all the speculation states that women went to see it for Chris Pratt’s body. I don’t think that’s fair. Maybe (and this is crazy) they just like kickass movies with space shit and explosions. Maybe women can do things without men being their motivation. Maybe.
I WENT FOR THE TALKING RACCOON MOTHAFUCKAS
THE NYMPHAI (or Nymphs) were female spirits of the natural world, minor goddesses of the forests, rivers, springs, meadows, mountains and seas. They were responsible for the crafting of nature’s wild beauty, from the arrangement and growth of the plants, flowers and trees, to the nurture of wild birds and animals, and the formation of rocky caverns, springs, wetlands and brooks.
Nymphs were also companions of the gods. Dionysos had his wild-eyed Mainades and Bakkhai, Artemis was accompanied by a band of huntress nymphs, Hekate by the dark Lampades nymphs of the underworld. Poseidon’s court was attended by Nereides and sea nymphs, and the Olympian court by nymph handmaidens.
Other nymphs were nurses of the gods, including the Idaian nymphs that nursed the god Zeus, and the Nysian nymphs who cared for Dionysos.
I live in Osaka, Japan and often use the subway to go to work in the morning. One day while I was waiting for the train, I noticed a homeless man standing in the corner of the subway station muttering to himself as people passed by. He was holding out a cup and seemed to be begging for spare change.
An overweight woman passed by the homeless man and I distinctly heard him say, “Pig.”
Wow, this man is insulting people and he still expects them to give him money?
Then a tall businessman went by and the man muttered, “Human.”
Human? I can’t argue with that. Obviously, he was human.
The next day, I arrived early at the subway station and had some time to kill, so I decided to stand close to the homeless man and listen to his strange mutterings. A thin, haggard-looking man passed in front of him and I heard the homeless guy mutter, “Cow.” Cow? The man was much too skinny to be a cow. To me, he resembled a turkey or a chicken. A minute or so later, an obese man went by and the homeless man said, “Potato.” Potato? I was under the impression that he called all fat people “Pig”.
That day at work, I couldn’t stop thinking about the homeless man and his puzzling behavior. I kept trying to find some logic or pattern in what he as muttering. Perhaps he has some kind of psychic ability. In Japan many people believe in reincarnation, so maybe he knows what these people were during a previous life. I observed the man many times and began to think my theory was right. I often heard him calling people things like “Rabbit”, “Onion”, “Sheep”, or “Tomato”.
One day, curiosity got the better of me and I decided to ask him what was going on. As I walked up to him, he looked at me and said, “Bread.” I tossed some money into his cup and asked him if he had some kind of psychic ability. The man smiled and said, “Yes, indeed. It is an ability I obtained many years ago, but it’s not what you might expect. I can’t tell the future or read minds or anything like that.”
“Then what is your ability?” I asked eagerly.
“The ability is merely to know the last thing somebody ate,” he said.
I laughed because I realized he was right. He said, “Bread.” The last thing I had eaten for breakfast that day was toast. I walked away shaking my head. Of all the psychic abilities someone could have, that one must be the most useless.
Omfg fUCKING HUMAN
The Brazilian School of Witchcraft and Wizardry is a smattering of low-rise cottages hidden in the coastal forests of Bahia near a mid-sized bay where Senhor Cardoso’s martial arts students like to practice a fusion of defensive magic and capoeira (often to an audience of wide-eyed first-years), and build soaring sand castles to pass the time. Wands were introduced by immigrants and have grown in popularity with the diversification of the student body; however, the use of focal objects and organic magic still remain prominent. Students dress in demure robes throughout the year, and break out their flashiest clothing for Carnival during which there is an unofficial competition for the most creative clothing enchantments (glitter-burst charms are common, as are colour-shifting spells although they do tend to backfire and turn clothes an ugly medley of brown and vomit-yellow if the fabric doesn’t take well to enchantments).
I got high last night, and woke with this on my table
This is much more beautiful than whatever it was supposed to look like.